DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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