just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
