puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
