the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
