I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize