as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I want her autograph on my taint
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
