I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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