She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
