Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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