pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So vagazzling was a success
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
