its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
