It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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