Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
