Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
operation harelip BJ is a go
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
