that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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