He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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