just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
