Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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