Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
