I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
