Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
