He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
