yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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