loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
