I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
