That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
