you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
