Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
