Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
