Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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