i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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