I got chris browned last night
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There's always time for handjobs
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I need water and some morals
Randomize
