I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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