I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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