Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
