The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
