as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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