There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
