I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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