I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
