Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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