Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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