Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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