id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
