Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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