that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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