Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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