your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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