she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
