Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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