sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
