okay pat passed out under dana's car
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
