remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
